April 7, 2025, 2:15pm
You’ve probably already heard the news: Mr. Beast, the YouTuber your cousins are obsessed with, and James Patterson, the novelist your uncles are obsessed with, have finally teamed up to write a book together.
The thriller is Mr. Beast’s first book, but Patterson, the patron saint of airport bookstores, has long collaborated with big names. His third with Bill Clinton is due out in June and like so many books written pre-November, it’s arriving on shelves a little pre-curdled — this latest Patterson-Clinton joint has the winky title The First Gentleman.
Beast and Patterson’s book sold in “an eight-figure bidding war,” a fact that I don’t have the capacity to get frustrated with right now. The pair apparently really did co-write the novel — would love to be an “Anonymous Fly” on the wall of that Google doc.
Bogglingly, there’s also a non-fiction book attached to this deal. I imagine it will probably be a behind-the-scenes look at whatever is going on with Mr. Beast’s repeated attempts to do the Stanford Prison Experiment but monetized. But my hope is that it’s a craft book — I would read the hell out of Mr. Beast and James Patterson talking about how and why they do what they do.
The working title of this collab novel is The Most Dangerous Game, with the logline “Players fight to survive deadly tests held in dangerous locations around the world, as they battle to become ‘The One.’” Okay, but I think we can do better than that, so here are my pitches for the next Mr. Beast and James Patterson team-up.
Hungry For Crime
A detective is pulled into a twisted cat-and-mouse game with a notorious hitman known only as “Ice.” The detective must fight to save his family by racing to eat 100,000 calories faster than this deranged killer.
Southern Sun
A generous rich man gives away a private island to the FBI’s foremost forensic psychologist, who retires to turn his new tropical real estate into a luxury resort. But will it be enough to save his marriage?
Cold Case
A detective is asked to solve a series of kidnappings, but accidentally gets trapped in an old refrigerator for 24 hours. Hilarity and thrills ensue.
Bricked
A cash-strapped police department is forced to sell everything, and have to team up with a funny local teenager to build new polices cars out of Legos.
Basking
A mysterious lab creates five human-lizard hybrids, who have to make their way in a world that doesn’t understand them. Turned away from every job they try, they become YouTube content creators and soon are successful, famous, and happy.
20,000 Magnets Vs. 1 Serial Killer
A detective tries to stop a murderer using too many magnets.
Just One More
A series of high profile house fires shake the DC area, and it starts to become clear that this is the work of a serial arsonist. A local police detective is tasked with cracking the case, but must fight his addiction to watching YouTube videos long enough to catch the criminal.
Out of My Mitts
James Patterson co-writes a Utah thriller with Mitt Romney and four of the five Romney sons. But the night before the book’s release, Tagg discovers a horrible typo in the final copies. Tagg and the Patterson team put out a call: whoever can heist the most copies from airport bookstores across the globe will win a lifetime supply of delicious Mr. Beast brand breakfast cereal.
Ghost Hunt
Desperate ghostwriters compete under a series of increasingly tight deadlines to win a coveted position as co-writer with best-selling and very hunky writer Jim Batterson. Hilarity and thrills ensue.